i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
