I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
