She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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