is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize
