found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
