My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
