2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
