The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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