He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
