1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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