i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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