Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
