You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
