Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
