Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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