I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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