theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
