That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
