So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
