so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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