We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Randomize
