Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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