My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize