Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
