Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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