I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
