I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
