Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
