My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
