Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
