Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
