She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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