I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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