Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
