Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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