brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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