i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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