Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
