he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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