I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
