just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
