i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
