happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
