if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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