she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
