there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
