Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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