ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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