What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
