the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
