Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
