I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
