Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
