i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
